OK so I’m actually really annoyed at myself for writing this but it’s really been annoying me for the past couple of days and I want to get something off my chest.
There is nothing wrong with being single.
You do not need to be in a relationship to be happy.
It is better to be on your own than in the wrong relationship.
With that out of the way, here’s what prompted this minor outburst. I was at a friend’s wedding at the weekend and a fabulous wedding it was. I was there on my own, as I more often am than not at these kind of things, and having a wonderful time. It was a chance to catch up with friends from home that I haven’t seen in a long time as well as people I haven’t seen in the ten years since we left school and the bride’s mum who happened to be an old teacher.
Anyway it was towards the end of the night and fuelled with prosecco I’d been laughing and dancing away on the dance floor quite contentedly until I needed to take a breather and sat myself down for a bit. I was approached by a man that I’d been introduced to only that day who was at the wedding with his girlfriend, the apparent love of his life, who decided to lecture me on being single on how I needed to “put myself out there” and how I couldn’t possibly be happy with life on my own. Despite my protestations to the contrary he was not interested in my opinion and was intent on making it known that he was not impressed that I was single.
I was initially puzzled by his comments and how they had come out of the blue but having had time to ponder upon them I’m even more confused. For starters how did he know that I was single? Many people go to weddings on their own without their other half. Why was he so concerned about my happiness? This was a stranger who I had only just met, who knows nothing about me or my life or my situation. Was he in fact hitting on me? Was he lamenting the single life and wished that he was free to ask me out on a date?! In the end I just figured that he’d had too much to drink which was made all the more plausible by his suggestion we hail a taxi (we were all staying at the bride and grooms flat for the night) in the middle of a pitch black car park rather than call one from the very nearby, well lit hotel!
This isn’t the first time something like this has been said to me. One of the first things my mother likes to ask me whenever we talk is how my love life is. Why does it matter how my love life is? Surely what matters is how my life is, how my health is, how my job is – these things are all important to my happiness, my health needs to be good so that I can work so that I can earn money and do the things I enjoy doing. My love life is neither here nor there and quite frankly none of anyone’s business. (Except my lovely readers with whom I will share things when I am good and ready and keep other things to myself.) If it’s going to happen it will happen, there is no point in rushing it.
Anyway, that’s all I really have to say on the matter. If you’re single and happy – good for you. You do not need someone to “complete” you. If you’ve found the love of your life and are happy then good for you. Please do not try to make single people feel bad because of something you think is an important part of life when they might not feel the same way. Same thing goes for people who don’t want to get married or don’t want to have children. We’re all different, that’s what makes the world such a fascinating place.