So if you’ve read all about my latest visit to The Globe to see The Comedy of Errors you’ll know that I was there on a date with someone who I will refer to only as T. It was our third date which may well indicate to you that it was going quite well but the reality was a little different.
As you can perhaps tell from the title of this post I “met” T on the free dating site Plenty of Fish. When I came up with my 30 by 30 list I added
27. Try dating
as one of them as it’s something I’ve just never done before and it’s clear now that there is a reason for this, I’m just too damn picky! Online dating is very, very superficial and I am not an exception to the rule. I’ll only check out your profile if I think you are hot and a lot of the time I’ll dismiss you if you’re too hot. I really don’t want to be made to feel guilty for chain watching Netflix shows on the sofa while you’re off playing football or at the gym again!
I get quite a few messages on PoF, I’m sure most women do, and I check out the profile of those who take the time to message me. If they meet my criteria and they’ve sent me a slightly more creative message other than “Hi” – I mean honestly why do so many people just send a message that says “Hi” are you just blanket sending the same message to hundreds of people in the hopes that one of them replies? At least show a slight bit of interest by asking a question! Anyway, I digress – then I’ll reply. I think I’ve replied to about a half-dozen people, sent one first message of my own and had a conversation with just three of these people; one which tapered off pretty quickly, one where the guy headed off to sunnier climes to work for the summer and T, who I messaged back and forth with for about a month before we could find a night where we were both free to meet up for drinks.
Our first date was at the Prince of Wales in Brixton a nice enough pub just around the corner from Brixton tube station although a bit out of my way. We seemed to get along well chatting away without really any awkward pauses and so before the first date had finished I suggested a second to the aforementioned Globe theatre. Having never been on a date before this may not have been the correct protocol but I had enjoyed his company and wanted to see how we got on in an active setting doing something other than just sitting around drinking. After two and a half hours I figured it was time to call it a night – it was a weekday night, I’d gone straight to the pub after work, had been drinking on an empty stomach and it would take me 45 minutes to get home.
Before I’d even made it home I had a text from him trying to arrange a day/time for our visit to The Globe and I took this as a good sign. I took it as an even better sign when he asked if we could meet up again prior to the theatre for more drinks and despite my busy scheduled I obliged. This time we met in central and went to one of my new favourite Soho haunts Jackson & Rye before heading to the Yates’ in Leicester Square. Again I hadn’t eaten and due to T’s gluten intolerance which he’s told me about on our first date I didn’t want to suggest going somewhere for food. Again we chatted away quite happily, me talking faster and louder the more I drank, T taking the piss out of me which I quite like – I really don’t like being taken too seriously, life’s too short for that. I left around 10pm this time (apparently this is still too early for a weeknight date to end according to T’s flatmate) and was quite looking forward to our third date and the opportunity for a first kiss.
The third date took place the day after I completed the Thames Path Challenge so my legs were a bit stiff and sore but I made it to the Pizza Express on Bankside just at the time we were supposed to meet, he was a little late but that didn’t bother me but from the moment we sat down things were a bit odd. Having made a big fuss about being gluten intolerant you would assume that T would have ordered a gluten-free pizza base but he didn’t instead opting for a regular base, the conversation didn’t seem to flow quite as well as it had previously and he didn’t seem all that fussed about actually going to the theatre instead more interested in going for another drink beforehand. He didn’t offer to pay for my meal (not that I would have let him but I understand that the offer is at least good dating etiquette?) and I had to go get cash from the bank machine to ensure I had given him enough when the waiter failed to split our bill and put the full cost on T’s card.
Things got weirder still when we were inside The Globe, being short I wanted to get quite a good spot in order to be able to see – at a foot taller than me T didn’t have this problem and instead was more concerned with getting a drink. This is itself didn’t bother me but when I declined a drink of my own T wouldn’t let it go and couldn’t understand why I didn’t want a drink. I’m not a huge drinker and I don’t need alcohol to be fun but I was treated as though this was a cardinal sin! The main thing was I didn’t want to have to miss any of the show by having to nip to the loo which is exactly what T had to do 10 minutes before the end of the first half and missing it!
I made him buy me ice-cream in the interval and asked his opinion on the show but he just didn’t seem all that interested to be honest. He’d barely laughed and I was fully expecting him to make a bolt for it as soon as it was over. Surprisingly he asked if I’d like to grab a quick drink though so we nipped round the corner and had a drink on the roof of The Anchor as it was such a nice night out. After a bit more ribbing on my earlier stance on having a drink T declared how odd it was to be drinking outside without smoking. Now his profile lists him as a non-smoker but he now advised me that he smokes three or four a day… that’s still a smoker and I’m sorry to say but smoking is a deal breaker for me these days! I was aching all over from the previous day, knew this wasn’t going to go anywhere and so decided to call it a night.
T kindly walked me to the tube station where we said goodbye, I wasn’t even going to bother with the whole kiss thing after how rubbish the rest of the date had been but gave him a hug and a quick peck on the lips. Then as I went to leave he asked if I wasn’t going to give him a proper kiss so I thought what the hell I’m never going to see this guy again and went for it. Even that was incredibly awkward with the height difference working against us to a massive degree and the fact that he sort of patted me on the shoulders and said “Good” when it was over. Less than 24 hours later I received the “You’re nice but…” text message which was a total relief as it meant I didn’t have to be the one to send it!
Not the best of experiences but certainly not the worst I’m sure and definitely for the best! It achieved what I set out to do for me and that was to experience what it was like to date someone and learn more about myself. It seems I have to be even MORE particular about the kind of person I go for with my new criteria including must be 6 foot or under, people who are interested in doing things other than just going out for a drink and someone who has at least heard of Marvel. Trying to suss out who the liars are is going to be a whole other ball game but it should be interesting… My next aim is to try to go on two dates with two different guys but that’s going to have to wait until November now as I have a super busy October coming up! I’ll be sure to keep you all up to date with more of my dating escapades as and when they happen.