6 months ago today I was told I was being made redundant.
Tomorrow is my last day with the company I’ve been with for over three years.
I don’t have another job to go to right now. Tomorrow at 5pm I will officially be unemployed.
It’s not like last time. Last time it was my choice, I had a plan for a new adventure and I was excited. It was the best decision I think I have ever made. I love my life in London so it’s scary to have that be in jeopardy right now. Especially when it wasn’t my choice.
I haven’t been applying for as many jobs as I should have. I had my eye on an internal role that would have bridged the gap between IT and a communications/PR role. Unfortunately, that wasn’t feasible so now I have to make my own future.
The problem is I don’t know what I want to do.
Well I do, but I want to do lots of things. I want to potentially work in social media, blogger outreach, events management, PR. Create YouTube videos, write things, visit interesting places and get paid to do it. I don’t want to do just one thing anymore. But it seems that doing that isn’t easy
Ideally I’d be able to find a part time Helpdesk position where I could work three or so days per week and then have the rest of the time to work on that other stuff that I want to do. Including building my blog, there is so much I want to do with this space – so many ideas that I have but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Or the motivation…
This year hasn’t been the best one for me. I’ve had health problems, family issues, this redundancy looming over me for half of it and right now I’m feeling tired and a bit mentally frazzled. Every time I try to write something I get this overwhelming sense of panic that I’m not good enough. I have so much that I want to write about and even some things that I need to write about.
For the past year I’ve been doing the odd collaborative post with companies in order to earn a little extra money and I hope to increase that going forward. Don’t worry the content isn’t going to change and I will never post something that I don’t actually like or agree with.
Most of the time the content will be written by me anyway, in my usual tone/style (that is if I have a style, I don’t know – do I?) – if it’s not written by me it will be clearly marked as a sponsored post at the very top of the article (like this one) that way if you’re only here for my sparking personality you can skip those but I hope you don’t mind. So far I’ve made enough money to pay for my hosting since I moved to self-hosted WordPress at the tail end of 2015 and a new blog theme (which lol I haven’t had time to implement yet). Clearly I’m rolling in it and don’t need to fret about finding work to pay the bills lol.
All joking aside, thank you to anyone who’s read this far. Anyone who keeps coming back to this site whenever there’s a new post that takes their fancy. Anyone who’s just found this site and hasn’t automatically clicked away because they’re fed up of bloggers moaning about their life being hard. (On a side note, Claire posted this great blog about bloggers being either aspirational OR relatable – I’m afraid I’m firmly in the latter camp – there’s nowt aspirational about this blog!)
I’m hoping that posting this is all that’s needed to kick my butt in to gear and get writing again – thanks for sticking with me!