Dear Diary

Dear Diary: Three Months On

Well it’s been three months since I packed my bags and set off on this new journey of mine. It’s gone rather well so far don’t you think?

I have somewhere to live. (Albeit temporarily – more on my flat hunting in another post!)

I have a job which (hopefully) pays enough to allow me to continue living here without getting into debt.

I’m figuring out how to get around on the underground.

I’ve attended #londonbookclub and a twitter picnic.

I’ve eaten many, many, many cupcakes.

But… I’m struggling to make friends. I know this is part and parcel of being in my twenties as well as being in a new city and I’ve connected with many amazing people via twitter but how exactly does one make the next step towards friendship with people you communicate with via the medium of text and pictures?

I’m not the kind of person who will refuse to do something or go somewhere if I don’t have another person to do it with. I’m quite happy to eat out at a restaurant or go to the cinema alone and maybe this is detrimental to forming a new social circle here in the big city.

I have no problem talking to people in a group setting when I do attend meetups but I do have that paranoid fear that people don’t like me and are wondering what the hell I’m doing there in the first place. It’s that one to one relationship that I struggle with.

I’ve made a couple of attempts with my current flatmate by inviting him to the cinema, something casual where you don’t need to worry about filling awkward silences and at least you have the movie to talk about afterwards if you don’t have much common ground but he’s a busy man and had friends of his own. Maybe I’ll have more luck with my next flatmate/s.

I like to think I’m a pretty cool person. And it’s not as though I don’t have any friends. I have lots. They’re just spread around the country a little so I don’t see them often and I can’t exactly invite them over for a BBQ if the sunshine happens to rear its head one glorious morning. I’m sure I’m not the only person who feels this way having moved to a new city and I’m sure it will pass but for now, I’m desperately seeking friendship.

Desperately seeking friendship: Twenty-something food lover seeks friends to have fun with. GSOH, loves movies, cocktails and long walks on sunny days! Adventurous, I’ll try most things at least once – will you give this relationship a chance?

0 thoughts on “Dear Diary: Three Months On

  1. Hey Sugar – you’ve gone amazingly!!!! And what a great start to your new adventure!

    Have you ever heard of a website called ‘meetup’ lots of groups set up for like minded people to meet up – but not in a singles type of way – check it out 🙂

    xx

    1. You know I’m sure I did actually look at that before I moved as they had some cinema meetups scheduled but I couldn’t make any of them but I haven’t looked at it again since – I totally should! Thanks xx

  2. I felt exactly how you felt at points in my life. Not exactly in the same way but for example, when I came back from uni and didn’t have any friends because they’d all moved away. So I had no local friends, but I had all my ‘con’ friends (as they were at the time) living all over the country etc. That hasn’t actually changed much over time – I don’t have any ‘local’ friends in Ipswich, and all my best friends are all over the place. I’ve come to terms with that though, and actually I’d rather just stick with them.

    To me it’s not about having friends I can spend a lot of time with. I’d rather stick with my close friends that I don’t see too often, than force myself to spend time with people I don’t necessarily get on with, just because they’re local.

    Of course I do get why you’d want more local friends and people to do stuff with, but that’ll happen in time I’m sure. It can be frustrating but you’re right – you are a cool person, likeable, funny and easy to get on with. So don’t ever hold back or fear putting yourself out there. I’m one to talk about paranoia – I get it completely, but I’m always telling others not to feel that way because I see how great they are!

    You’ll either get used to being ‘alone’ (hate that word!) or you’ll find more friends. Either way you’ll cope and you’ll be just fine. You’re doing really well, so don’t let it get you down 🙂

    1. Hi David, thanks for the comment no idea how I missed it!! I guess I’m just expecting too much too soon after all I’ve not really been in the city that long and I have so many friends who pass through that I’ll never be completely alone 🙂

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